Pet Peeves Revealed!

The expression "pet peeve" entered public parlance via a 1920's comic strip. According to openlab.citytech.cuny.edu, you can thank The Little Pet Peeve syndicated cartoon for the expression.

Frank King’s “little pet peeves” were humorous critiques of generally thoughtless behaviors and nuisance frustrations.

Examples included people reading the inter-titles in silent films aloud, cracking an egg only to smell that it’s gone rotten, back-seat drivers, and rugs that keep catching the bottom of the door and bunching up.

Silent films went the way of phrenology. Rotten eggs ran afoul of the FDA (so to speak). But there’s no escaping the tiny slings and miniature arrows of not-quite-outrageous fortune.

Despite sat-nav and self-driving Teslas, back-seat drivers are still peeving peeps. People still bitch about bunching rugs.

Judging by the plethora of pet peeve-related online articles online, 21st century Americans are perpetually peeved. zippia.com offers no less than 75 Pet Peeves That Practically Everyone Finds Annoying.

I Can Relate

Farago can relate to peevishness triggered by people who speak about themself in the third person. But most of the "nuisance annoyances" cited (e.g., slow-walking sidewalk blockers) are pretty petty pet peeves.

That said, one man's minor irritation is another man's anger management issue.

While Farago's mildly annoyed by people who refer to themselves in the third person, folks who say “I’m sorry you feel that way" instead of actually apologizing bring him to the brink of apoplexy.

Closer to home (post-divorce), I’m constantly peeved by articles that tease readers (The One Dating Secret Every 65-Year-Old Single Should Know!) and bury the answer at the bottom of the post.

Kinda like this one. So, with no further ado, here's much ado about, well, nothing much.

Portion Pack Condiments

Strike that bit about "nothing much." There are trillions of portion packs peeving the pee out people out there, somewhere.

I understand the product’s advantages. Restaurant portion packs offer maximum food safety and better ROI (i.e., less spoilage and wastage). But OMG are they annoying.

Opening a portion pack of condiments without getting schmutz on your fingers is like trying to write a blog post without using Yiddish. The more the messier.

To be fair, Heinz is on the job with their bi-directional tomato-based sugar dispenser. But they’re the exception that proves the rule. Most condiment packets are squishy envelopes from Hell.

What's more, let’s more, there's no portion control for people pushing portion-controlled condiment packs. Drive-thru attendants grab a handful, chuck them in the bag and call it good. Delivering either too many packs or, worse, too few.

I'm not the most conscientious environmental steward, but it’s a known fact that discarded condiment packs - made of polyethylene, polypropylene and/or polyvinyl chloride - kill polar bears. To say nothing of foil creamer lids' contribution to climate change.

In short, portion pack condiments are messy, unreliable and frustrating. Their effect on my psyche also overlaps with another of my niggling aggravations...

Clamshell Packaging

Clamshell packages have two hinged halves that open and close like a clam shell. Manufacturers get clammy with their stuff to make the product visible to shoppers and harder to steal or tamper.

Is opening a product you bought with your precious time and hard-earned money considered tampering? You'd be forgiven for thinking so.

It's easier to knock off a casino than liberate a Surefire flashlight from its clamshell without using a purpose-built sharp-edged tool (click here for examples). If not impossible.

And dangerous! The Consumer Product Safety Commission reports that some six-thousand Americans visit emergency rooms each year for package-related injuries (e.g., cut fingers and hands, sprained wrists and shoulder muscles).

No one knows how many of these ER visits are clamshell-related, but I'm thinking most. To the point where Amazon sold 5k Slice 00100 Ceramic Blade Safety Cutters last month (no commission on link).

That danger stat doesn't include injured Americans who cut themselves and didn’t need ER attention. Even more prevalent: the clamshell packages psychological toll. A trauma so wideapread there's a name for it. wikipedia:

Wrap rage, also called package rage, is the common name for heightened levels of anger and frustration resulting from the inability to open packaging, particularly some heat-sealed plastic blister packs and clamshells.

I log the clamshell kerfuffle as a pet peeve, rather than a rage-inducer because I ignore the insanity of a company selling something you can't have. Speaking of sales...

Lousy Salesmen (and Women)

Last week, I strolled into a motorcycle dealer to buy... wait for it... a motorcycle.

The salesperson didn't ask me anything about my "needs." Worse, she knew nothing about her products or their availability.

"Do you have a product specialist?" I asked, rather than "Have you ever heard of Sgt, Schultz?" Her reply: "I am one."

Product knowledge is one third of a proper salesman's arsenal, the others being attitude (rapport) and sales technique (qualify, present, close). Since the advent of Amazon, face-to-face sales has devolved into nothing more than order taking. At best. At best Buy.

I used to find this astounding lack of professionalism a major annoyance. It's so commonplace now it's been downgraded to a pet peeve.

Like tens of millions of Americans, I research a product online before darkening a store's door. Knowing I know more about their products than they do.

What Are Your Pet Peeves?

Previous comments tell me all y'all are some seriously cranky bastards. So have it. What pet peeves follow you around?

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